Teachers do more than inspire youth (they hide secrets too)

Forge Series: Character Profile, Ruth Philon

In honor of Back To School, I present a character profile of one of the teachers who provides guidance and a calming force in Tessa’s life.

To learn more about the FORGED series, visit the Table of Contents.

Other Mentors: Clari Roberts (aunt) and Dr. Shay Weaver

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Ruth Philon

• Pronouns: she/her

• Age: 43

• Birthplace: Bannock, Bannock Zone, United Pacific Territories

• Occupation: teacher of creative writing at Bannock High School

• Relationship profile: single, never married

• Family: parents (deceased), child (deceased), aunt (Sharon Jachai), cousin (Jessica Jachai)

• Hobbies: meditation, yoga, gardening, writing, playing guitar and singing (though not in public), hiking, and swimming

• Personality Traits and Quirks: calm, observant, empathic, prefers to be barefoot

Excerpt from the journal of Ruth Philon

Friday, 9 October, 2119.

I’m on the final countdown, and I am SO ready to hold my baby girl in my arms! Five days until I reach my due date. Of course, her arrival could happen anytime.

I’ve fully nested—her room is ready. My birthing center bag waits by the front door. I’ve cleaned every surface. Even the flower beds are mulched for winter—a bit early, I realize, but I’ll be busy snuggling my new bundle. Gardening will take a back seat for a time.

She is ready too! Her movements are constricted and less fluid. She’s running out of space.

As I lay here, tablet propped on my swollen belly, she is pressing against the tightened skin of my abdomen. Imprints of her tiny knuckles press out one side. Her precious butt pushes to the other, contorting my belly. Typing this entry is tricky, but I don’t mind. I could watch her roll and stretch for hours. Though my bladder will appreciate her departure, I will miss her squirming!

Last night, she woke me with the movements of a soccer star. Or maybe it was the heel jabbing into my ribs. I sang the lullaby my mother used to sing to me, and my baby stilled. I imagined the sound of my voice echoing through my body, humming through her amniotic-cushioned habitat, mesmerizing her. She re-curled her limbs and snuggled in closer to my center. We fell back to sleep together, my hand rubbing her bottom through my skin.

Yes, she’s ready to join me. And yet, I haven’t settled on a name for my baby girl. As I tucked the final load of newborn socks and sleepers into her dresser, I went through the list of names again. My thoughts drifted to Maylon—my prince, my soulmate. Even now, eight years after kidney disease took him from my life, I feel the loss of his presence. He should be the father. He should be here with me, trying to convince me what to name our daughter.

I wasn’t supposed to be picking her name alone. To be traveling the parenting road without him beside me.

Maybe my cousin can help me decide on a name.

Without Jessica, this path to motherhood would’ve never happened. I’m so thankful to have had her beside me every step. I shouldn’t be surprised, though—even as small children, we spoke of the day we would have families, raising our kids together just as our mothers raised us. True, at some point, Jessica’s focus shifted. Her passion for science flourished, and she chased a dream that no longer included being a mother.

I thought my dreams for motherhood were broken too. Maylon’s unexpected death was devastating. My vision of a family was one with his arms wrapped around me. That future was shattered, so I’d pieced together a new version. And until that fateful dinner with Jessica sixteen months ago, I’d resolved that educating the youth of our zone would be enough. But she’d told me about her research. Her work in genetics was fascinating and surreal. Unfathomable to me. She spoke of parentless children, fertilized eggs that would not be implanted, would not be raised as the next generation because of a lack of surrogates.

Our conversation sparked a desire in me that I’d thought had been long since extinguished. Hope floated through my dreams that night. Hope that I could be a mother without my chosen life partner. When I called Jessica the next day, she confirmed a single parent could be considered to be a surrogate and parent one of the unclaimed embryos. Oh, the sweet news!

And here I am, on the verge of being a mother!

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Session Notes: Ruth Philon

The following is a transcript from Dr. Harrow's notes from his session with Ruth Philon on Monday, 12 October, 2122.

Dr Harrow (DH): Saturday was a notable day. Tell me how you honored the day.

Ruth Philon (RP): I wrote a letter to my baby girl. Told her about the wind in the trees. How the shining sun was as bright as I imagined her smile. I described the songs of the birds chirping overhead and how the squirrels were searching through the mulch for nuts and other hopeful tidbits.

DH: Your neighbors have a daughter, yes?

RP: Yes. Jenna will be three in a couple of weeks.

DH: What feelings do you experience when you see Jenna?

[Patient sniffles; pauses to blow her nose.]

RP: Too many. Bittersweet, mostly. They’d be the same age if my baby had survived her birth. Seeing Jenna thrive and grow helps me imagine what… [Patient clears throat.] I’m thankful I can see what could’ve been. I’m… hopeful.

DH: Hopeful for what?

RP: Hopeful the pain will subside enough to be a good neighbor again. [Patient laughs and sighs.] The Waite family is very kind. The mom came over on Saturday with a potted jasmine plant. She told me the gift was ‘just because,’ but I knew she’d remembered the date too. I think I’ll take the plant to my office at school.

DH: Do you experience any similar emotions when you are teaching?

RP: No. Not really. My students are so much older than my daughter would be now. Twelve to fourteen years older. I cannot yet imagine what she would be like as a high schooler. I want to savor her toddler years a bit longer.

Photo by Amisha Bhatnagar on Unsplash

Character Inspiration and Role

We all have favorite teachers who have made an impression on us. Creating Ruth’s character allowed me to bring to life the memories of my favorite teachers. My words are a melding of characteristics and quirks that touched me as a student in their classrooms.

Ruth Philon has parts of Mrs. Horn, my sophomore English teacher. Mrs. Horn had high expectations and a subtle humor. She could both make you laugh at yourself and inspire you to do more than you thought possible. I never considered myself a poet, and yet I still have one of the poems I wrote while in her class—in fact, I repurposed it. Mx. Philon reads the poem to Tessa’s class.¹

Ruth Philon’s personality is one of a calm demeanor. She is observant and deeply empathic, similar to my high school counselor, Mrs. Holton, who helped me navigate college applications. Despite Mrs. Holton’s somewhat scattered-brain persona, she had a zen-like approach to making decisions. Plus, parts of Ruth’s character have been inspired by several teacher friends of mine (my contemporaries who currently brave the halls of local public schools and who were teachers for my kiddos—you know who you are 🤗 Thanks for being you!)

As a mother of a baby angel, Ruth Philon is forever affected. And though not necessarily a secret, the stillbirth of her child fifteen years earlier is not common knowledge among her students, nor is it her defining characteristic. And yet, the experience and her journey since have shaped Ruth. Her interactions with students, especially those who have experienced traumatic life events, are forever colored by her own struggles with grief, guilt, and depression.

Mx. Philon plays an important role in Tessa’s life throughout the FORGED series. She recognizes the struggles Tessa experiences (the death of her family, moving to an urban center, and attending public school for the first time). She provides guidance and supports Tessa on her journey through the grief stages. She gives Tessa a safe space to explore her emotions and suggests constructive coping methods to aid her healing progress. Tessa feels at peace in Mx. Philon’s presence and notes that she “sees” her in ways other teachers do not.

And isn’t that something most teens crave? (Whether they admit it or not…) To be seen by the adults important in their lives.

What I’m reading

Here are some other dystopian and SciFi fiction pieces available on Substack that you might enjoy. Plus some thought-provoking non-fiction.

1. Character Profiles -

   Larry Hogue
   of
   Glass Half Full
   has been posting character profiles for his Ships of Fools serial. He was gracious to converse with me a bit about his process. (And I borrowed his profile at the top, with a few tweaks to work within my series’ framework.) Thanks, Larry!

2. Hope at the End of the World - As part of the There is Hope serial,

   Claudia Befu
   uses letters from the future to give readers a deeper understanding of the characters. I used this format as inspiration to have Ruth’s character profile contain both a journal entry and a transcript of a counseling session.

3. To the Moon and Back Again - More SciFi than Dystopian, this short story from

   Brian Reindel 👾⚔️
   of the
   Future Thief
   is a delightful read! (I’d go see that movie, Brian.)

4. Haints -

   Thaddeus Thomas
   shares a haunting look at life after death. What would you choose?

5. Time Rich, Druthers, and It’s okay to take your time - Authors

   Alexis Damen
   ,
   Andrew Smith
   , and
   Robin Cangie (she/her)
   , respectively, present ways to examine the use of time and choices. We all have the same amount of time, so the level of "richness" comes from how we utilize that time. Andrew’s “Druthers” game is an interesting take on the use of time and choices made. And Robin gives us all a good reminder. Check them out!

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Before you go

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Questions

1. What other questions do you have about Ruth Philon?

2. What dystopian fiction do you recommend? Favorites? Recent reads?

3. How are you utilizing your time? How are you willing to change your expectations of time?

1. I plan to share the poem that I’ve included in Shattered. (Honestly, I thought I already had…) Maybe even a photo of the poem from my high school anthology from Mrs. Horn’s class. Check back here.